While a smooth relationship between a husband and his wife, and it’s a sweet tenor are of primary concern to us, the true knowledge and the spiritual service are also equal importance to us. But when you are in spiritual service as husband and wife, you will come under stressful test situations. one is likely to encounter opposition to such a role. The reason is simple enough. History is replete with examples of spiritual master never returning home, once they have gone on such a mission. This is grown into a rooted belief.
Vethathiri maharishi wrote a poem on this in World Peace (Ulaga Samathanam): “The great thinkers, when they attempt to usher in progress in life, would find the wife the first stumbling block; the brothers and sisters from the next time of opposition; the parents, grieved to the soul, make a pathetic appeal to renounce the chosen path. The relatives adopt a threatening posture. So handle it with intelligence and achieve your ends”.
The support to spiritual teachers would have from the public depends on the nature of peace and harmony prevalent in the family. So they should strive every nerve of theirs to achieve them. Generally speaking, people are jealous and unhappy when others rise in stature. But there are two who rejoice – one is Guru and other the life partner.
Because, when one of their sons prospers in life above others, the parents are happy indeed, but even that happiness is short of perfection as their minds would unconsciously compare the lots of other children. It is so with brothers and friends also.
But not so with the Guru. His state of mental perfection does not allow for human weakness like jealously. Instead, he is quite pleased when his student soars in prosperity. He is happier than when he himself would be blessed with such a rise. But this is the typical manifestation of right attitude of a great saint (Gnani), and we need not extol his virtue so natural to him.
At a lower level of intellectual attainment, a non-envious, true sense of appreciation in recognition of one rise and the mental satisfaction arising out of it are characteristic of a divine relationship found only among couples. Those who fail to display such mental attitude are indeed the non-blessed! When facts remain so, how could spiritual teachers without such an ideal relationship come to serve humanity?
The spiritual teachers ought first to keep their relationship free from differences. Vethathiri Maharishi have already given a teaching – couples the three magic words in this respect: they are Tolerance, Adjustment and Sacrifice.
When quarrels do occur, they should be taken as Heaven – sent occasions to learn a lesson. It is our ‘Paava’ and ‘Punya’ that the Primordial, like the unbiased Justice, sometimes delivers sorrowful blows – but only through others. Where the husband and wife are one and live in unison who else can give them situations of sorrow, other than they themselves?
We should learn to take it that God Himself is there in the form of one’s own husband or wife, and regulates our life according to our past karmic impressions. If one is clear in the opinion that God Himself has chosen one’s partner and stands by him/her to regulate one’s deeds, then one could see the presence of God in one’s partner.
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